So, last week, I was making a macchiato for a mumbler man who was mumbling to my co-worker how it was wrong when she made it last time. I prepared a cutesy quip in my pea brain and was about to say it out loud but before I could, this happened:
Fabled Texas Male: "It wasn't the way I wanted."
Co-Worker: "I know. It's because I didn't listen very well."
FTM: "Well, you are a woman."
She was facing him...I had my back to him...she saw my face as my mouth dropped open and steam began billowing out of my ears....he didn't.
Co-Worker: "But I make excellent bread."
FTM: "You'd better have some skills."
And at this precise moment, I realized that I'm never going to be thrilled every day to live in Texas. But I DO think that once I'm no longer in a service position, I will be overjoyed in my role as educator to these men. Because while he has certainly been the most overtly sexist so far, he isn't alone. Many of the men I've encountered in Texas so far have viewed me as either wife, mother, servant, or server. And while it is true that I am all of those things, I am ALL of those things at once.
And this is the thing that I believe men still living in the chauvinistic capital "S" South can't move past: people in general, but women in particular don't fit into molds any more. Women are, in general, more educated than they've ever been. But I'm not sure the capital "S" Southern Lady is yet comfortable being defined by her mind rather than her skinny jeans and rhinestones. Even the perfectly coiffed Dallas women who I keep cowering from in the corner are likely a hell of a lot smarter than their braggadocio men-folk know. I watched a woman hide her copy of "Atlas Shrugged" last week when her boyfriend arrived at the bakery. Now, questionable reading material aside, why would she do that if she is actually as educated as I believe? I believe that it's because Southern Ladies are very comfortable being well rounded, but they know that in being so, they become much harder to objectify and, as such, possibly unmarry-able.
And let me just go ahead and say it...it's harder being with someone who is smart. Ask my husband. Hell, ask me! I have dated the spectrum, from whip smart to puppy dog dumb and it has ALWAYS been the case that the bright ones are harder to deal with sometimes. But lo, how much more pronounced was the self-growth when given a worthy opponent with whom to mental shadow-box?!
So, hey, Fabled Texas Men...Get over yourself already and seek a woman of substanceAND beauty. And for the love of the universe or sweet baby Jesus himself, ladies, get over the idea that you can't be smart and attractive. And if we, as a society, could find it deep inside us to stop objectifying and start valuing women for more than a pants size or skillful use of a Bump-It, we might all reap the benefits.
